Birthday Blues
by deepsleep47
Summary: Inspired by all the early birthday gifts I kept getting. Basically, everyone forgot it was Al's Birthday. Or maybe he just THINKS they forgot . Also, I kinda have no idea how to add chapters, so...yeah...ENJOY!


Idea for writing this came from all the early birthday gifts my friends kept giving me.

Also...WHOOO! 4 MORE DAYS!!

as well as...I don't know how to add chapters so...yeah... enjoy!

**0.Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, Meow Mix, or any of the "Entertainment" mentioned below.**

--

Chapter 1

(General P.O.V.)

Al leaned against the banister and sighed. He looked expectantly from his mom to his brother and back again, but neither said a word. He cleared his throat.

"I _said_, 'I can't _wait_ for _tomorrow_.'" He spoke "tomorrow" with an extra twinge of stress that it _almost_ seemed like he was dropping a hint of some sort. (Almost…)

"And? So you can't wait for tomorrow, big deal. What makes that any different than what you do every other day? Besides, we heard you the first time." (So he was an optimist, so sue him.)

"Could you give us a hand with these clothes, dear?" his mom, Trisha, replied. Al stood staring with his mouth hanging partially open. The way they both replied so coldly made chills run up and down his spine. He descended slowly down the stairs, ready to help his family with the laundry. They didn't forget. They couldn't have forgotten! How could they not know what tomorrow was? How could they have forgotten that tomorrow was his birthday!

1.3

(Ed's P.O.V.)

The thing I love most about surprise parties is that delicious moment when you jump out, yell "SURPRISE!" and get to watch the other person almost faint or pee themselves on the spot. The fact that you get to scare the crap out of them and not get in trouble is really awesome! (Mom says I can't say that word, but she never said I couldn't _think_ it…) I really can't wait to see the look on Al's face when he opens my present. Heh, heh, heh…

…Oh, right…laundry.

--

Chapter 2 2.1

(Al's P.O.V.:)

How did they not know? Or maybe they just forgot. Yeah, that's it, they forgot! I just need to remind them, that's all…maybe they're just pretending. Hey, that's it! They're probably planning a ginormous surprise party! Yeah, that's it…! No, wait…

**Flashback: 1 year ago…**

Ed is carrying a small frog in his hands as he is walking through the house. He goes down the stairs and enters the living room, only to find…

"SURPRISE!!"

**"WAHHHHHH!!"** Edward screams out in surprise and throws his hands up in the air. The frog escapes and starts hopping all over the place. Ed is paralyzed with fear as everyone attempts to grab the frog, causing multiple injuries, crashes, burns, and the eventual tossing of the birthday cake into the air resulting in contact with his mother's face. The room grows deadly silent. A voice penetrates through the still air.

"Cool." Ed replies as the frog leaps back into his hands. His mom wipes cake off her face.

"That's it!" she declares. "No more surprise parties for you!"

**End Flashback**

--

…Okay, so maybe they _did_ forget.

**2.2**

(Trisha's P.O.V.:)

I know I said that after last year's…incident…that I wouldn't throw any more surprise parties, but…well…_you_ try saying "no" to those big, round, puppy-dog eyes! I just hope their father doesn't bring home another exotic present form his travels. Just where in the world did that man learn that a baby komodo dragon makes a good birthday present for a _3-year-old_?

I swear…Ed, hunny, put that down _now_ and help me with the laundry.

Uh oh, Al looks hurt. Oh no, I hope he doesn't think we _really_ forgot his birthday. Oh…I hope we're not going too far with this.

--

Chapter 3

**3.0**

All throughout the rest of the day no one mentioned Al's birthday. Thinking that they had forgotten, Al had been dropping hints all day, hoping that someone would finally catch on. (But, alas, no one did.)

**3.1**

WAAAAAAAAH! They really did forget! What should I do, what should I do? Oh Santa, what should I _do_?! WAAAAAAAAH!

**3.2**

"Al?! Sweetie, where in God's name are you going?! Al?!"

**3.3**

Yes! Finally, I'm alone! Now I've got time to look for Al's birthday present! Boy, it really would've been better if Mom had let me give Al that tarantula, but no… She said it was too icky. She said it was too ugly! Well now I know just what to get 'im! And man, is it gonna **ROCK!**

**3.4**

A man walks through an indoor market shopping for things he needs at home; Shoes, socks, coffee, milk, (overly-sized flower pots…) etc. etc. He wanders down an isle and suddenly finds himself in a section labeled, "Wonders of the World." He casually glances at all the little baubles and trinkets when his eyes at last come to rest on a well-lit cage in the back. The label reads, "African Boa Constrictor. Makes great pet."

--

Chapter 4 4.2

(Trisha's P.O.V.:)

"Dearest, Darling,

I would like to inform you that it will be your youngest son's birthday tomorrow (Eastern Time.) He will be turning 4. I know your work keeps you busy and away from home most days, but I really hope you can find the time to be there for him. He hardly sees any of you at home and misses you dearly. I've had to break the news to him so many times that I fear, in due time, you two will grow further and further apart. I know he always finds it in his heart to forgive you, but I just don't know how long he'll keep at it. Please dear, he needs you.

Your Loving Wife,

Trisha

P.S.:

No exotic pets this time please."

**4.3**

I wonder if Mom'll let me get Al an anaconda…

**4.1**

"Deer Santa,

I no Krismas isint till a kajillion yeers but jus heer me owt. mama, ed, and i think dady alll forgot mI birday wuz toomoro 'cuz they hasn't sed nothin abut it yet. did they relie forget or 'R they jus pertending? mama says dat wen eber thers a poblem, dat wee shud ask for help fom abov. i no dat yoo liv way tha hek up in tha North Pole (bruder helpd me too spel that wurd) so i wuz thinkin dat wuz hoo she wuz talking abut. me wuz all so thinkeng dat yoo wud be aybel too help me. pleeze Santa i reelie need yoor help.

Sinseerily,

Alphonse Elric (bruder helpd me spel dat two)

**4.3**

Or maybe a monkey…

**4.4**

(Dad's P.O.V.)

Can I afford to take another vacation? Let's see…I've already used up all my vacation days and most of my sick days…maybe I can squeeze in a personal day…then there's the money…I wonder if I can ask the boss to give me an advance on my salary…? Nah, I already asked for one twice over the Christmas and Thanksgiving break…Shoot. Dammit, Trisha, why do you always make me feel so guilty?

**4.3**

Nope. **DEFINITELY** a snapping turtle.

--

**Chapter 5**

**5.3**

Mom, can we go to the pet store? What? What da ya mean 'No?' Why not?! No…no I wasn't planning on getting him _that_…or _that_………maybe just a little one…Ah, come on! Please? (Mom, don't make me say it…) Pwetty pwease with a chewwy on top? I pwomise I won't wet it woose in the house…this time.

Fine, be that way!

**5.2**

"Yes, I'm going to rent one for the afternoon. The _entire_ afternoon. Yes, I know how much it…No, _I'm_ paying for it. Mom I really—

Yes, what is it dear? No not you, Mom. I'm talking to Ed. Yes he loves you too, Mom.

No, I'm not going to put him on the phone…Mom, I-

Edward, I'm on the phone. If you'll just wait a second…No mom, I wasn't talking to you.

No dear.

So I was thinking that instead of flowers we could…

Edward, please, no. Not another one.

And then the cake will be…

Because I said so, that's why.

…Okay, I guess we could add a border…

You weren't going to try to get him an anaconda, were you?

…Don't you think that's a bit too much…?

_Or_ a snapping turtle?

Well…maybe just a little…

_**OR**_ a baby alligator?

What?! No I'm not going to write that on his birthday cake, Mom.

Edward, please! I'm on the phone!

What do you mean 'How come?' Because he's 4-years-old! He's not even going to know what it means!

No.

No!

NO!

Look, I'm his mother and I know what's best for him. Now for the last time, I am **NOT** going to hire Michael Jackson as Entertainment for the party… I don't _care_ if you're a fan of his earlier works!

Edward, for the last time, **NO!**

Mother, please! For the love of God—

That's it young man! Go to your room!

No Mom, not you."

**5.4**

(Sigh) If only I hadn't bought him that present then maybe I could have…Oh, well…

**5.1 / 5.3**

"Fine, then! You get him something!"

"Get who what?!"

"Um…uh…Uncle, uh…Henry! Yeah, that's it! Uncle Henry just died and, uh, I was, uh, lookin' for a present to put on his grave. Yeah, that's it."

"…Oh…"

"So…yup…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…What's that, Mom? You need help doing the dishes? Okay, be right down! Ha, yeah, so, um…SEE YA!"

ThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpSlamScreeeeeeech

"…Hey, wait a second…we don't _have_ an Uncle Henry! Ed!"

--

Chapter 6

**6.2**

ED! AL! No running in the house!

(Exhales deeply) Whew! That was a close one! I just hope I can get this wrapping done before this afternoon. Al's gonna be so happy when we give him the surprise! I just hope Ed doesn't spoil it like last time…

**Flashback: 2 years ago…**

**AL! HEY ALPHONSE! GUESS WHAT?!** **MOM'S GONNA THROW YOU A SURPRISE PARTY! JUST DON'T TELL…!**

Oh…

**End Flashback**

**6.0**

Al chased Ed out of the house and into the woods as his mom frantically tried to finish wrapping Al's Birthday present before they came back in the house (if not, she would have gone after them herself.) --;

Ed eventually manages to throw Al of his trail by leading him into the forest (where they're not supposed to go.) Ed left and is now at the pond looking for a birthday gift. Al is lost somewhere in the forest.

**6.1**

They're hiding something. I just know it. There's something they're not telling me, but what could it be? Hmm…

Hey…where am I?

**6.3**

Get over here, dammit! Agh! Why do fish have to be so damn slippery!?

**6.0**

Meanwhile…

**6.1**

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

**--**

Chapter 7

**7.4**

Boss, I need to talk to you for a second. It's about the…

…

Am I interrupting something?

No, that's okay. Don't get up. Please…don't.

No really, I—

…I'm just gonna go now…

**7.3**

Snapping turtles bite. Whatdaya know, you _do_ learn something new every day!

**7.2**

…You know…it's gotten a lot quieter all of a sudden…

**7.1**

Nii-san?

Nii-san, where are you?

Nii-san…?

What was that?!

It sounded like…

A MONSTER!

WAHHHH!

NII-SAN!

HELP!

**7.2**

Okay, it's time to start setting up for the party. I just hope Ed can keep Al preoccupied long enough for me get everything ready.

Don't worry sweetie, you'll get your party!

**7.3**

Wait! I've got it! It's **PERFECT!!**

--

Chapter 8

**8.2**

Let's see…I've got the cake, candles, balloons, streamers, candy bags, the piñata, table cloth, decorations, banners, music, party games, gift table, food, drinks, hats, noise makers…what am I forgetting? Let's see…

Oh! Ed, you're back!

Go wash up sweetie, it's almost time for the…

Edward…what's in that box?

Don't walk away when I'm talking to you.

Give me the box.

Edward, NOW!

Edward you come back down THIS INSTANCE or I swear you will _not_ get any cake tonight!

EDWARD!!

**8.1**

WAHHHHH!!

PLEASE DON'T EAT ME MISTER MONSTER!

I DON'T TASTE GOOD!

WAHHHHH!!

…Hey! You're no monster!

Come here little kitty. It's okay. I won't hurt you.

**8.4**

200…300…keep going.

What do you mean that's all you've got?

…These sure are some nice photos.

I'm sure the Chairmen and CEO would think so too…

800…900…Come on Mustang!

Keep the ball rolling!

**8.3**

I'm dead.

As soon as this party's over I'm dead.

Dammit, Al, you'd better appreciate what I'm doing for you!

I—

…Hey…where _is_ Al anyways?

--

Chapter 9

**9.1**

Meow meow meow meow

Meow meow meow meow

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Meow meow meow meow…

**(A.N.: In case you couldn't tell, he was singing the meow mix song.)**

**9.4**

—Now boarding train number 11. Train number 11 to Resembool. All aboard to Resembool Village—

**9.2**

Okay! The guests are all here, the house has been set up; It's time to start the party!

Ed, go get your brother!

…What do you mean he's not here?

Well where is he?

…You don't know?!

What do you mean you don't know?!

What happened?!

**THE FOREST?!**

**9.3**

Mom! I can explain!

See, Al was chasing me, right?

And he kept asking questions about his birthday, right?

Mom you've gotta believe me!

I didn't wanna spoil the surprise like last time, a-a-and I was t-trying t-to throw h-him off-f track a-a-and…

**MOM, I'M SORRY!!**

**I'LL GO GET HIM!!**

**I SWEAR, I WON'T COME BACK UNTIL I FIND HIM!!**

**I—**

**9.1**

**HI MOM! LOOK WHAT I FOUND…!**

…what's going on?

**9.2 / 9.3 / 9.Others**

…

**SURPRISE!!**

--

**Chapter 10**

**10.4**

I'M HOME!!

**10.1**

DADDY!!

**10.3**

DAD?!

**10.2**

HOHENHEIM?!

**10.Whiskers**

MEOW!!

**10.0**

Let's take a moment to examine this situation:

Al just got home with a kitty in his arms,

Ed was about to go out searching for Al in the forest,

Trisha was in the middle of chewing out her eldest son,

Hohenheim had finally come into the scene after 9 chapters,

The guests were all in the midst of launching a surprise attack,

And whatever it was that was in Hohenheim's suitcase is now slithering up his leg.

What's gonna happen next?

Let's find out…

**10.Whiskers**

MEOW!!

(DANGER!)

**10.4**

What the—?!

**10.Others**

SNAKE!!

**10.1**

WHISKERS, STOP IT!

**10.Others**

MOUSE!!

**10.3**

CRACKERS, NO!!

_**CRASH**_

_**SMASH**_

_**SPLAT**_

_**SIZZLE**_

**10.Others**

FIRE!!

**10.0**

All the while, Trisha has been standing, eyes wide open, jaw dropped to the floor, listening and watching in disbelief as the room fills with chaos. Ed is chasing Al chasing Whiskers chasing Snake chasing Crackers chasing Hohenheim chasing guests chasing Trisha's mom on fire. The door opens unexpectedly.

**10.Michael Jackson**

Did someone order a party?

**10.0**

The walking inferno rams into the "entertainment" thus causing both to fall onto the couch thus engulfing the whole house in flames.

(Didn't see that comin' did ya?)

--

**Chapter. 11**

**11.Firefighter Dude**

"Well, I don't know what to tell you except that I really hope your insurance covers fire damage."

**(A.N.: It doesn't.)**

**11.0**

Crackers is now in Ed's hands, Whiskers is now in Al's arms, and Snake is now somewhere in a cage being held by Hohenheim. Trisha turns to them expectantly.

**11.2**

…

_**WELL?!**_

**11.1 / 11.3 / 11.4**

…

Can we keep him?

--

**11.End**

**--**

**Yeah...still don't know how to add chaptrers...oh well...**


End file.
